Why Should I?

I should move to the suburbs.I should have children.I should go get my PHD in counseling. I should get a nice stable job and work everyday in a school or office. I should....I should.... I should.... As I get deeper and deeper into my twenties ,Its becoming increasingly clear to me what I want to do with my life. It just so happens,that I have not yet reached the part in my plan where moving to the suburbs, having children , and settling down is on the agenda. However, everyone finds it necessary to tell me what I should be doing.As strong willed as I am, sometimes the opinions of other sometimes get to me. I start to tell myself what I should be doing. However, within the last year or so I came to the conclusion that I would live a much happier life if I did what I wanted and not what I should be doing. So what, I'm a writer not a doctor. So what,I don't want kids until I am in my thirties. So what, I don't want to go to a office everyday! This is the year that I will stop feelling bad about what I should be doing and offer no excuses for it. This is the year I stop shoulding all over myself.

Where does beauty call home

There are few writers who I believe are able to capture the true essence of the subject matter they write about. First there was Maya Angelou and Langston Hughes now its my brother...... JAMAAL OMAR PEMBERTON AKA silent(k)night. My brother understands the true beauty of a women and he wants women to also know their inner and outer beauty. His poem is below! Love you brother and everything you stand for!


There she sits
Quiet
In a place that can be seen
Asking the person staring at her from the mirror
Who is the fairest of the all
No word
No response
Just silence

So she opens up the bottle
Cause she needs a little more
She always hits the bottle
She has to, but on her face before she hits that door
A beauty,
Inspired by Jet and America’s next
But the real world doesn’t have photo shop
She always forgets

I wish I could tell her
Beauty can’t be sealed in Jars
But like poets writing poetry in jail
It true meaning
It beauty can’ be find at face value
You have to find it behind bars
Even with a good foundation
You can’t hide scars
Cause wounds aren’t just skin deep

Her husband never hit her
He never got loud
He was never proud
Of anything she ever did
Love,
A passing thought
An empty memory
He thinks because he bought her a house
That she would call it a home
But home is where the heartis
And the heart is where love is
So if she lives in a house with no love
I guess she has no home
You can say she is homeless

To many karats made her blind to the truth
That beauty starts from your soul
Radiating through smiles
Whispered on laughter
And attracts love
Real love
But I can’t convince her against her own beliefs
So she’ll walk out that door
Hoping people will see beauty on her
But she’ll never find beauty in her


-Silent(K)night

Ten Fashion Myths

A pink hat ,scarf ,and gloves. Pink shoes and purse. At least five different color pink eye shadows along with pink eyeliner! Plastic leather-esuqe black pants and a neon pink winter coat! Sound the alarm! Someone please alert the fashion police and tell them its a 911 emergency! Tell them to leave the detectives and bring Tim Gunn instead!This lady siting across from me on the subway has clearly committed a fashion crime! I ,along with my colleagues, are disgusted and strongly believe that she should be punished to the full extent of the fashion laws! This lady along with so many other women has fallen victim to the fashion myth that a person looks best when everything is the same color. This along with many other mythes are often poison in the world of fashion. I have constructed below ten fashion myths that may lead anyone astray when it comes to sporting their best look.

1. No white after labor day: Why not! This is a common over quoted myth that is absolutely false! Like many other colors white comes in different shades.While some shades of white are better in the summer. Other shades are perfect for the winter months.


2. You cant wear gold and silver together: Sure you can its just depends how you wear it. I am not suggesting that you wear a gold sequence skirt with silver sequence top, I am suggesting that a gold ring with a necklace that has gold and silver intertwined together is not the end of the world. In fact,it can look quite dashing!

3.Your outfit has to match : Ok here is were it gets tricky, the colors in your outfit has to "go" not match. For example if you are wearing a rust colored blazer with jeans,your shoes and bag don't have to be rust colored. In fact,there are a plethora of colors that can be worn with rust. Brown, beige,mustard and copper are to name a few. Don't make yourself crazy trying to get the same exact color shoes, bag, and accessories....Its simply not necessary.In fact, it can make you look dated.

4.Your shoes and purse have to match : Many years ago, women use to come from the school of thought that if your shoes and pure don't match, you were committing a major fashion fauxpaux , Like the times, things have changed and women are not buckled down by this train of thought.Matching your shoes to your bag in some cases makes you look older. In other cases it can makes you look chic. However, there is comfort in knowing that matching your shoes to your bag is a possibility , not a necessity.

5. Black makes you look skinny: I hate to be the bearer of bad news but if you are a size six( which is not at all fat!) with all black on, you still look like a size six! What makes people look slimmer is the style and cut of close. Not the color....

6.You cant wear black and brown together: Who makes up these rules! Of coarse you can! Fashion 101 clearly states that there are several neutral colors that allow you to wear them with anything. These colors include beige, Grey , white, and black! If black and brown are a neutral, why wouldn't this fashion rule apply to the neutral colors!

7.Wearing makeup makes you look fake : wearing to much makeup makes you look fake. Some women don't like makeup because they feel it would have them look to made up. They think it would take away form them looking like them selfs. But let me ashore you that if make up is applied the proper way, it can make you look like a better version of you. A tinted moisturizer, mascara and a lip color can bring you from plan Jane to starlet in minutes!

8.The more hair , makeup and accessories the better: some say that less is better.I have to agree! You don't want to overdo it. Keep your makeup looking natural and your accessories to a minimum.

9.You cant wear last season trend: Nina Garcia in her book "Style Strategy" said that she likes to were things of trend so she doesn't look like everyone else.Don't get me wrong I love to encorporate trends into my wardrobe to complement my basics, but if I really fell in love with a purse that is "Off trend" I will still sport my purse that I am in love with. The key to trends is balance. Wear what works for you.
10.Dressing up is uncomfortable: SOOOOOOO not true! If you get you true size, what looks best on you, you feel good cause you look good, you will be the very comfortable! Until next time always be on the look out for you self inspired beauty............

WHats Your style?

In the world of of Chanel, Dior,BCBG, Micheal Kores, YSL, Chloe, Marc Jacobs and Diane Von Furstenberg. Defining your own style becomes more and more overwhelming. More discerning is trying to make crucial choice's between which trend fits your style. How does a gal decide between skinny jeans and boyfriend jeans, platform boots and riding boots, dark nail polish and a french tip.Every season fashion books and magazines tell us what is " in" this season.What color is the must have color and if we are wearing round toes or pointy toe shoes. Trends change so frequently that if you are not an educated fashonista ( like yous truly) it can become overwhelming trying to stay "on trend". Well ladies, I have a secret to share with you that might come as a surprise coming from me but,.............................you don't have to stay on trend. Before you call the fashion police and report that I have gone rouge and that I have defiled the good name of Fashion, please allow me to explain. Style is more then what clothes you put on your body.Everyone has their own sense of style, so if this seasons leather, zippers,shoulder pads, dark nail polish,statement necklace's and Smokey eye' doesn't scream your name. Why wear it? The great thing about trends changing so frequently is that you can choose what trends you want to wear and what trends you want to leave on the runway. Defining ones style is crucial to you feeling comfortable and beautiful in your own skin. Don't get me wrong, I am a zipper wearing,shoulder pad sporting,dark nail polish painting, dark smokey eye wearing kinda gal. But, If I didn't like or feel comfortable in this seasons new trend I would wear what I felt comfortable in. Fashion is not just clothes and shoes.....its the way you live your life...until next time always be on the look out for your self inspired beauty.

STYLE STATEMENT

What is style? I am a bit of a fashion junkie so I love everything fashion and beauty related from hair accessories to the newest color nail polish! However ,sometimes I get so caught up in whats on trend and what I think is cute that I buy things that don't translate into my style. I have things in my closet that I would never wear but would look fab on someone else. Frankly, its a waste of money! so I got to thinking...... what is my style? Is it retro? Is it classic chic? Is it classic chic meets retro?! SO I went on the hunt to find out what my style was and how should I define it? I came across this book called "Style Statement" by Carrie McCarthy and Danielle LaPorte. Let me tell you ladies I LOVE THIS BOOK ! It not only helped me to define my style in wardrobe but it helped me define my style in my home and in my over all life. If you are struggling with trying to find what you style is,,,,,,This is the book for you. Buy it, Read it, Love it! Untill next time always be on the look out for your self inspired beauty.

Ten Reason's Why Women Loves Shoes!

A wise women once said "Shoes are to women like breathing is to living". I simply must agree!Shoes are essential to maintaining my quality of life! Some women feel that without shoes they have no purpose, no meaning, and no reason to live! The type of shoes a women is wearing speaks volumes about the kind of women she is.The great Carie Bradshaw once said "You can't judge me till you walk a mile in my Manolo's "..And its true! Flats, pumps,stilettos,boots,pointy toe,or round toe. Jimmy Choo Steve Madden or Manolo Blahnik. Shoes are not only a girls best friend but can oftentimes be viewed as being as essential as air! Like Chris brown and Jordan sparks Said.....How am I suppose to breath with no air ?
Ok,so I might have been a bit dramatic about my feelings about shoes, however, the questions still remains why do women love shoes? What is the attraction? Why do we need so many? In a much earlier post (http://selfinspiredbeauty.blogspot.com/2009/04/optimum-shoes_30.html ) I mentioned that I had a whopping 136 pair of shoes,not including boots! Below I have constructed the top ten reasons why I believe women have had a on going love affair with shoes. There are so many but I decided to narrow down to only ten.

1.Variety: I am always on the look out for new hair styles, new nail polish colors and even new comforter sets for my house! The reason for this is because women love variety. When traveling, I often over pack and my husband just cant understand why I would need three pair of jeans for one day. I always answer "I need a variety. I base the way I dress on the way I feel." Same goes for shoes. Maybe you feel like being sexy one day and flirty the other. There are clearly different shoes to achieve that!

2. Options: I know what your thinking,isn't options the same as variety ? No,options are different.Within your variety of shoes, you need options.For example, lets say your going to a picnic and you decided to wear your mustard off the shoulder DVF summer wrap dress. But you only have a electric blue pair of Steve Madden sandals to pair it with.You wouldn't dare wear those sandals with that dress! A stunt like that can land you in the hands of the fashion police and have you booked and convicted before you knew it! In this case you need maybe a brown wedge open toe sandal ,or a beige flat. But NOT A ELECTRIC BLUE SANDAL! that just wrong!

3. Fashion:I know this might be fickle to some people but, living in NYC leaves me no choice but to be influenced by fashion. (I cant really blame it on the city I have always loved fashion) Women often buy shoes by what trend is happening at the moment. If the trend changes ,you don't want to throw away your other shoes! For example, if a women spent four hundred dollars on a skinny heel pointy toe Jimmy Choo shoe five years ago but the trend has changed to a rounder toe platform shoe, the most sensible thing to do is to wrap the pointy toe shoe up and put them away to next season. Trends change so quickly that they surely will be back in trend in no time. But in the meantime a platform shoe is a must!!! Fashion is a way of life!!! LOL!

4. Weather: In New York we have very extreme weather. In the winter its FREEZING!
In the summer it is so humid. So its no surprise that different shoes are needed for different weather.You cant very well expect me to wear my Uggs in 95 degree weather!

5. Special occasions: Weddings, parties, church, gala events, work, farmers markets, and the movies all require very different foot wear! Contrary to male popular belief, what shoes I wear to a morning garden wedding can not be reused for the farmers market.I don't make these rules....I do however follow them.

6. Sales :Black patent leather strappy three inch heel Tori Burch sandals with the Tori Burch symbol embossed on the side, reduced to 150 dollars..........enough said...

7. Love : Sometimes you just walk into a store and as soon as your feet hit the floor you hear something whisper your name. No its not the creepy security guard trying to get your number, its the over the knee chocolate colored soft leather Vivienne Westwood boots that are not only calling your name but screaming for you to caress them, you are instantly vulnerable! You cant get them out of your head, thats all you think about. YOUR IN LOVE!!! you simply have to buy them. Love only comes a few times in a lifetime. Who are you to pass that up!

8.Security : If your dress size is a 2 or a 12,your shoe size always stays the same. there is security in knowing that whenever you pull out those perfect pumps they will ,like a long time friend, feel like you never left them in your closet.

9. Shoes can never make you look fat: No mater what color , shape, or pattern a shoe posses it can never make you look fat! Shoes only can do good things for your figure. Heels make you strut and running shoes help you sprint.

10. Alter-Ego: Beyonce Knowles is known for her on stage alter-ego named "Sasha Fierce" Beyonce explained Sash fierce as a outgoing all out diva. Using her alter ego allows Beyonce to be a force on stage. Shoes can do the same for any women. If you put on a pair of three inch Louboutin and your favorite freak'em dress you automatically turn into Beyonce Knowles. If you put on a pair of converse all stars paired with a sweater vest , you turn into Ellen Degeneres!

So there you have it. Ten reasons why myself and many other women have to have a massive shoe collection.These are true blue concrete reasons that simply are not up for debate. Now lets talk about purses........

SELF INSPIRED BEAUTY OF THE MONTH

This months S.I.B of the month has nothing to with accessories, clothes, shoes or makeup. This inspiring lady has nothing to do with what makeup trend is "in" for winter or even if we are wearing a round or pointy to this season. Instead, she has everything to do with food!.....while doing some much needed writing at Barnes and Noble the other day, I was interrupted by a womens voice on the intercom informing everyone of Ms. Rachel Rays arrival to the store! She was coming to the book store to have a book signing for her latest book!..... I automatically knew that I simply had to talk to her to ask her some questions about her self inspired beauty!Let me start by saying that she is genuine and extremely nice! ( like scary nice, with amazing skin! She must exfoliate like twice a week..lol!) While listening to Rachel Ray speak about her latest book. I almost instantly realized what she believed her self inspired beauty was! It was clear that the joy of cooking and serving others was what she enjoyed most! And lets be honest she is damn good at it! I will be honest, I didn't get a chance to talk to her that long and I really wish I could have. But, being the busy women she is she had to go to her next gig........anyway here are a few things I found out about Mrs Ray.I didn't set it up like a interview because it really wasn't. I was just being a pushy writer who wanted to get in her business. Lol! Anyway the infomation is below. BTW I got her to sign her book. Shoe wrote " To shukura,my number one fan who loves using EVOO and thinks all food is yummo! -Rachel Ray" How Awesome is that! Until next time ,continue to use your EVOO(Rachel way coined that phrase) and always be on the look out for your self inspired beauty !

ME: how old where you when you finally started doing what you enjoy?
Rachel ray was everything from a waiter, to a short order cook, to a associate at a grocery store. She loves food ! Nothing else makes her more happy, so from a young age she surrounded herself with food. It wasn't till her late twenties/ early thirty's when we started to see her on TV.

ME:How do you come up with so many recipe?
Rachel : I think about food all the time! I am always writing down recipes in my phone.Its like a hobby for me!It always has been and I love it! the recipe just come.

ME: What do you enjoy most about your job?
Rachel : Ummmm....you don't get it dude.... I love to eat!! just kidding,I really enjoy making people feel happy and comfortable. I have really been blessed that this is my full time job!

ME: If you had one thing to say to people who think that they cant accomplish their dreams what would it be?
Rachel : You can do whatever you put your mind to! if you dream it you can achieve it!