Ten Fashion Myths

A pink hat ,scarf ,and gloves. Pink shoes and purse. At least five different color pink eye shadows along with pink eyeliner! Plastic leather-esuqe black pants and a neon pink winter coat! Sound the alarm! Someone please alert the fashion police and tell them its a 911 emergency! Tell them to leave the detectives and bring Tim Gunn instead!This lady siting across from me on the subway has clearly committed a fashion crime! I ,along with my colleagues, are disgusted and strongly believe that she should be punished to the full extent of the fashion laws! This lady along with so many other women has fallen victim to the fashion myth that a person looks best when everything is the same color. This along with many other mythes are often poison in the world of fashion. I have constructed below ten fashion myths that may lead anyone astray when it comes to sporting their best look.

1. No white after labor day: Why not! This is a common over quoted myth that is absolutely false! Like many other colors white comes in different shades.While some shades of white are better in the summer. Other shades are perfect for the winter months.


2. You cant wear gold and silver together: Sure you can its just depends how you wear it. I am not suggesting that you wear a gold sequence skirt with silver sequence top, I am suggesting that a gold ring with a necklace that has gold and silver intertwined together is not the end of the world. In fact,it can look quite dashing!

3.Your outfit has to match : Ok here is were it gets tricky, the colors in your outfit has to "go" not match. For example if you are wearing a rust colored blazer with jeans,your shoes and bag don't have to be rust colored. In fact,there are a plethora of colors that can be worn with rust. Brown, beige,mustard and copper are to name a few. Don't make yourself crazy trying to get the same exact color shoes, bag, and accessories....Its simply not necessary.In fact, it can make you look dated.

4.Your shoes and purse have to match : Many years ago, women use to come from the school of thought that if your shoes and pure don't match, you were committing a major fashion fauxpaux , Like the times, things have changed and women are not buckled down by this train of thought.Matching your shoes to your bag in some cases makes you look older. In other cases it can makes you look chic. However, there is comfort in knowing that matching your shoes to your bag is a possibility , not a necessity.

5. Black makes you look skinny: I hate to be the bearer of bad news but if you are a size six( which is not at all fat!) with all black on, you still look like a size six! What makes people look slimmer is the style and cut of close. Not the color....

6.You cant wear black and brown together: Who makes up these rules! Of coarse you can! Fashion 101 clearly states that there are several neutral colors that allow you to wear them with anything. These colors include beige, Grey , white, and black! If black and brown are a neutral, why wouldn't this fashion rule apply to the neutral colors!

7.Wearing makeup makes you look fake : wearing to much makeup makes you look fake. Some women don't like makeup because they feel it would have them look to made up. They think it would take away form them looking like them selfs. But let me ashore you that if make up is applied the proper way, it can make you look like a better version of you. A tinted moisturizer, mascara and a lip color can bring you from plan Jane to starlet in minutes!

8.The more hair , makeup and accessories the better: some say that less is better.I have to agree! You don't want to overdo it. Keep your makeup looking natural and your accessories to a minimum.

9.You cant wear last season trend: Nina Garcia in her book "Style Strategy" said that she likes to were things of trend so she doesn't look like everyone else.Don't get me wrong I love to encorporate trends into my wardrobe to complement my basics, but if I really fell in love with a purse that is "Off trend" I will still sport my purse that I am in love with. The key to trends is balance. Wear what works for you.
10.Dressing up is uncomfortable: SOOOOOOO not true! If you get you true size, what looks best on you, you feel good cause you look good, you will be the very comfortable! Until next time always be on the look out for you self inspired beauty............

WHats Your style?

In the world of of Chanel, Dior,BCBG, Micheal Kores, YSL, Chloe, Marc Jacobs and Diane Von Furstenberg. Defining your own style becomes more and more overwhelming. More discerning is trying to make crucial choice's between which trend fits your style. How does a gal decide between skinny jeans and boyfriend jeans, platform boots and riding boots, dark nail polish and a french tip.Every season fashion books and magazines tell us what is " in" this season.What color is the must have color and if we are wearing round toes or pointy toe shoes. Trends change so frequently that if you are not an educated fashonista ( like yous truly) it can become overwhelming trying to stay "on trend". Well ladies, I have a secret to share with you that might come as a surprise coming from me but,.............................you don't have to stay on trend. Before you call the fashion police and report that I have gone rouge and that I have defiled the good name of Fashion, please allow me to explain. Style is more then what clothes you put on your body.Everyone has their own sense of style, so if this seasons leather, zippers,shoulder pads, dark nail polish,statement necklace's and Smokey eye' doesn't scream your name. Why wear it? The great thing about trends changing so frequently is that you can choose what trends you want to wear and what trends you want to leave on the runway. Defining ones style is crucial to you feeling comfortable and beautiful in your own skin. Don't get me wrong, I am a zipper wearing,shoulder pad sporting,dark nail polish painting, dark smokey eye wearing kinda gal. But, If I didn't like or feel comfortable in this seasons new trend I would wear what I felt comfortable in. Fashion is not just clothes and shoes.....its the way you live your life...until next time always be on the look out for your self inspired beauty.

STYLE STATEMENT

What is style? I am a bit of a fashion junkie so I love everything fashion and beauty related from hair accessories to the newest color nail polish! However ,sometimes I get so caught up in whats on trend and what I think is cute that I buy things that don't translate into my style. I have things in my closet that I would never wear but would look fab on someone else. Frankly, its a waste of money! so I got to thinking...... what is my style? Is it retro? Is it classic chic? Is it classic chic meets retro?! SO I went on the hunt to find out what my style was and how should I define it? I came across this book called "Style Statement" by Carrie McCarthy and Danielle LaPorte. Let me tell you ladies I LOVE THIS BOOK ! It not only helped me to define my style in wardrobe but it helped me define my style in my home and in my over all life. If you are struggling with trying to find what you style is,,,,,,This is the book for you. Buy it, Read it, Love it! Untill next time always be on the look out for your self inspired beauty.

Ten Reason's Why Women Loves Shoes!

A wise women once said "Shoes are to women like breathing is to living". I simply must agree!Shoes are essential to maintaining my quality of life! Some women feel that without shoes they have no purpose, no meaning, and no reason to live! The type of shoes a women is wearing speaks volumes about the kind of women she is.The great Carie Bradshaw once said "You can't judge me till you walk a mile in my Manolo's "..And its true! Flats, pumps,stilettos,boots,pointy toe,or round toe. Jimmy Choo Steve Madden or Manolo Blahnik. Shoes are not only a girls best friend but can oftentimes be viewed as being as essential as air! Like Chris brown and Jordan sparks Said.....How am I suppose to breath with no air ?
Ok,so I might have been a bit dramatic about my feelings about shoes, however, the questions still remains why do women love shoes? What is the attraction? Why do we need so many? In a much earlier post (http://selfinspiredbeauty.blogspot.com/2009/04/optimum-shoes_30.html ) I mentioned that I had a whopping 136 pair of shoes,not including boots! Below I have constructed the top ten reasons why I believe women have had a on going love affair with shoes. There are so many but I decided to narrow down to only ten.

1.Variety: I am always on the look out for new hair styles, new nail polish colors and even new comforter sets for my house! The reason for this is because women love variety. When traveling, I often over pack and my husband just cant understand why I would need three pair of jeans for one day. I always answer "I need a variety. I base the way I dress on the way I feel." Same goes for shoes. Maybe you feel like being sexy one day and flirty the other. There are clearly different shoes to achieve that!

2. Options: I know what your thinking,isn't options the same as variety ? No,options are different.Within your variety of shoes, you need options.For example, lets say your going to a picnic and you decided to wear your mustard off the shoulder DVF summer wrap dress. But you only have a electric blue pair of Steve Madden sandals to pair it with.You wouldn't dare wear those sandals with that dress! A stunt like that can land you in the hands of the fashion police and have you booked and convicted before you knew it! In this case you need maybe a brown wedge open toe sandal ,or a beige flat. But NOT A ELECTRIC BLUE SANDAL! that just wrong!

3. Fashion:I know this might be fickle to some people but, living in NYC leaves me no choice but to be influenced by fashion. (I cant really blame it on the city I have always loved fashion) Women often buy shoes by what trend is happening at the moment. If the trend changes ,you don't want to throw away your other shoes! For example, if a women spent four hundred dollars on a skinny heel pointy toe Jimmy Choo shoe five years ago but the trend has changed to a rounder toe platform shoe, the most sensible thing to do is to wrap the pointy toe shoe up and put them away to next season. Trends change so quickly that they surely will be back in trend in no time. But in the meantime a platform shoe is a must!!! Fashion is a way of life!!! LOL!

4. Weather: In New York we have very extreme weather. In the winter its FREEZING!
In the summer it is so humid. So its no surprise that different shoes are needed for different weather.You cant very well expect me to wear my Uggs in 95 degree weather!

5. Special occasions: Weddings, parties, church, gala events, work, farmers markets, and the movies all require very different foot wear! Contrary to male popular belief, what shoes I wear to a morning garden wedding can not be reused for the farmers market.I don't make these rules....I do however follow them.

6. Sales :Black patent leather strappy three inch heel Tori Burch sandals with the Tori Burch symbol embossed on the side, reduced to 150 dollars..........enough said...

7. Love : Sometimes you just walk into a store and as soon as your feet hit the floor you hear something whisper your name. No its not the creepy security guard trying to get your number, its the over the knee chocolate colored soft leather Vivienne Westwood boots that are not only calling your name but screaming for you to caress them, you are instantly vulnerable! You cant get them out of your head, thats all you think about. YOUR IN LOVE!!! you simply have to buy them. Love only comes a few times in a lifetime. Who are you to pass that up!

8.Security : If your dress size is a 2 or a 12,your shoe size always stays the same. there is security in knowing that whenever you pull out those perfect pumps they will ,like a long time friend, feel like you never left them in your closet.

9. Shoes can never make you look fat: No mater what color , shape, or pattern a shoe posses it can never make you look fat! Shoes only can do good things for your figure. Heels make you strut and running shoes help you sprint.

10. Alter-Ego: Beyonce Knowles is known for her on stage alter-ego named "Sasha Fierce" Beyonce explained Sash fierce as a outgoing all out diva. Using her alter ego allows Beyonce to be a force on stage. Shoes can do the same for any women. If you put on a pair of three inch Louboutin and your favorite freak'em dress you automatically turn into Beyonce Knowles. If you put on a pair of converse all stars paired with a sweater vest , you turn into Ellen Degeneres!

So there you have it. Ten reasons why myself and many other women have to have a massive shoe collection.These are true blue concrete reasons that simply are not up for debate. Now lets talk about purses........

SELF INSPIRED BEAUTY OF THE MONTH

This months S.I.B of the month has nothing to with accessories, clothes, shoes or makeup. This inspiring lady has nothing to do with what makeup trend is "in" for winter or even if we are wearing a round or pointy to this season. Instead, she has everything to do with food!.....while doing some much needed writing at Barnes and Noble the other day, I was interrupted by a womens voice on the intercom informing everyone of Ms. Rachel Rays arrival to the store! She was coming to the book store to have a book signing for her latest book!..... I automatically knew that I simply had to talk to her to ask her some questions about her self inspired beauty!Let me start by saying that she is genuine and extremely nice! ( like scary nice, with amazing skin! She must exfoliate like twice a week..lol!) While listening to Rachel Ray speak about her latest book. I almost instantly realized what she believed her self inspired beauty was! It was clear that the joy of cooking and serving others was what she enjoyed most! And lets be honest she is damn good at it! I will be honest, I didn't get a chance to talk to her that long and I really wish I could have. But, being the busy women she is she had to go to her next gig........anyway here are a few things I found out about Mrs Ray.I didn't set it up like a interview because it really wasn't. I was just being a pushy writer who wanted to get in her business. Lol! Anyway the infomation is below. BTW I got her to sign her book. Shoe wrote " To shukura,my number one fan who loves using EVOO and thinks all food is yummo! -Rachel Ray" How Awesome is that! Until next time ,continue to use your EVOO(Rachel way coined that phrase) and always be on the look out for your self inspired beauty !

ME: how old where you when you finally started doing what you enjoy?
Rachel ray was everything from a waiter, to a short order cook, to a associate at a grocery store. She loves food ! Nothing else makes her more happy, so from a young age she surrounded herself with food. It wasn't till her late twenties/ early thirty's when we started to see her on TV.

ME:How do you come up with so many recipe?
Rachel : I think about food all the time! I am always writing down recipes in my phone.Its like a hobby for me!It always has been and I love it! the recipe just come.

ME: What do you enjoy most about your job?
Rachel : Ummmm....you don't get it dude.... I love to eat!! just kidding,I really enjoy making people feel happy and comfortable. I have really been blessed that this is my full time job!

ME: If you had one thing to say to people who think that they cant accomplish their dreams what would it be?
Rachel : You can do whatever you put your mind to! if you dream it you can achieve it!

Hair today....Gone Tomorrow !

While reading the menu at cold stone creamery,( don't judge me it was the weekend, I was using my weekend calories! lol !) I spotted a women with beautiful strawberry blond hair who was eating a medium cheesecake waffle bowl of ice cream. Of course my heart skipped a beat because I love cheesecake! I immediately inquired about the cold creamy goodness that she was eating. As she started to tell me that graham cracker crust ,cheesecake,strawberry's,strawberry syrup and nuts where all critical parts in this junk food masterpiece, I started to notice that her hair line started to slowly creep further and further back. Before I knew it her beautiful strawberry blond hair was in the middle of her head and her natural platinum blond hair was in clear site for everyone to see! She was wearing a full blown wig! Luckily her friend rushed to her aid and took a hat and frantically threw it on her head like she was trying to score a field goal!( sorry about the sports reference, my man is making me watch football while I write this) That very same night, I decided to go check out what was left of the Jimmy Choo for H&M line,and while I was perusing the accessories I came across clip on ponytails! Has everyone gone weave crazy!
Fashionista's everywhere are in love with the idea of changing their appearance with accessories like scarfs, jewelry,shoes,handbags and more. Thats why it should be no surprise that more and more women are using weaves and hair extensions like a fashion accessory. For years celebrity's have been using weaves and extensions to improve the look of their hair.Celebrity's like Tyra Banks, Beyonce, Barbra Walters, Joy Behar, Joan Rivers, Wendy Williams, Vanessa Williams,Meghan MCcain,Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson and all the Kardashian sisters have all willingly admitted their use of wigs ,hair extensions, and weaves. Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson even have a wig, weave and hair extensions line. As weaves become more and more mainstream, they become more widely accepted and are prevalent in house wifes, students and models.Hair weaves have been the topic of movies, talk shows, you tube videos and conversations at the dinner table.Weaves have developed a huge cult following and its following grows more and more every day. I have seen some of the best hair weaves , wigs and extensions that have fooled me into thinking that they were natural hair! I have even seen a girl with natural hair (not relaxed) who had weave that looked kicky and afro textured! I have yet to step into the world of wigs and hair extensions, but I have had a weave and it looked great. I am not addicted to weaves in fact, I have only had a weave two times in my life. However, I operate from the train of thought that if it makes you feel good then wear it ! My question is since we are now treating weaves like accessories, is it still a shameful thing to sport one? Do women still have to hide the fact that they are sporting tresses from their local beauty hair supply store? Or should they share the knowledge and tell everyone when , where, and how much the weave was? Whats your opinion? Should women treat weaves like accessories? Until next time, you know what to do ,always be on the look out for your self inspired beauty.

Optimum Beauty

ACCESSORIES! ACCESSORIES!!!! I am sooooo about accessories! I always have been! they can really take your outfit from drab to Fab! As long as you have a LBD ( little black dress) with the right accessories you can wear your LBD to work or to a fancy dinner! Because I am such accessories girl I like to keep up on the latest accessories trends. I also enjoy making my own original pieces. It is so important to know how to accessorize your outfit.A cute dress with the wrong accessories can be Tragic! If you don't where jewelry , not a problem, accessorize with scarfs! ( see my youtube video about turning necessities into accessories at LADYSKT on youtube) Or with a pair of Fabulous shoes and a outrages purse! One of my most recent fashion accessories obsessions is pearls! Yes Pearls!! Lots and lots of them.Though I have no place to where them like Rihanna did in the picture above, I knew I wanted to incorporate this trend into my fashion arsenal for this season. However, it needed some tweaking if I didn't want to develop a severe neck injury! Its very important to know how to tweak fashion trends to fit your style and to know what fashion trend you should stay away from.Check out my youtube video on how to incorporate pearls into your everyday life. Remember that trends are only a suggestions you don't have to be on trend. In fact some of my favorite dressed people or people who are so often off trend but look extremely chic! Do you research and find your style! until net time always be on the look out for your self inspired beauty!!! xoxo S.I.B


Check out my youtube vids at http://www.youtube.com/Ladyskt ( some of the vids are on the left side of this page. Check them out!

Optimum hair care

OMG Shukura your hair has grown so much! This is the response I get from so many of my family and friends that I have not seen in long time.The next question is ; How did you get it to grow so long? You must have that good hair! My response is always "Why yes I do have good hair its course nappy and afo textured . I love it! (if you haven't noticed I hate when people refer to straight hair has good hair) Then I tell them my secret......I take care of my hair! I moisturize, co- wash, and I very rarely use heat on my hair. But the single most important thing I do to my hair is Deep condition at least once a week. Curly, kinky and afro textured hair is by nature dry so it is very important that those of us with hair that falls into these category's pay special attention to our hair. Deep conditioning is one of the most important aspects of a kinky hair care regimen. Deep conditioning with heat is probably the best way to deep condition. Heat allows the hair shaft to swell and the cuticle to open and allow the conditioner inside. Deep conditioning not only improves the strength of the hair but it makes the hair more resilient and helps with length retention. All hair can benefit from deep conditioning but for black hair ,permed or natural,deep conditioning is a absolute must because deep conditioning restores the balance in the hair which stops breakage. So if you want long or just healthy hair, add deep conditioning to your regimen at least once a week. You will see the difference. Start today! until next time always be on the look out for your self inspired beauty! xoxo S.I.B

IM BACK!!!!!!

MY LIFE HAS BEEN CRAZY!!!!!!!!! I love NYC but jeesh!!! If you can make it here you can make it anywhere!!!! SO needless to say I have been on the grind really trying to get everything going. I have so much going on that my blog and you tube has been pushed to the side .This is my post to tell you that Im back! I will be posting much more frequently. So keep a eye out for me next week! I have some great ideas that I need to tell you about and great things happening and going on. Talk you soon!!!!!

Hey S.I.B's !! I hope everyones week is going well ! Since I have been about fifteen years old I have been a finger nail lover! Its just something about a polished well kept hand that makes me happy. As soon as I got my first check from Wendy's when I was 16 I immediately went out to get my tips put on! Ever since then I have been a major acrylic user. I was at the nail shop every other week making sure that my nails looked amazing! Until one day I decided too take the acrylics off to give my pockets and nails a break,and I discovered that my nails were completely damaged!!! They were so weak and brittle! They looked horrendous! It was then that I decided to go on the search for products that would make my natural nails look fierce ! ( that was so Tyra Banks..wow) I tried several name brands like Sally Hanson and Nutra Nail, but nothing has helped my nails more then Nail Envy by O.P.I. I used this product for about three weeks and my nails started to look better then ever before!! My nails have never looked so healthy and long! This product however, does come with a hefty price tag but is sooooo worth it! I will never have fake nails again.....unless they stop making nail Envy!! Go check it out!

OPTIMUM HEALTH ?

“I’m going to lose 150 pounds and be a size two! “ the middle aged lady proclaimed across the hall in the exam room across from me. The doctor repeated “A size two? Really? “Then the doctor smiled with the words YEAH RIGHT written all over her face then giggled. In the next room, I was sitting on the exam bed in discomfort because I just knew the middle aged lady was going to go off! So I said to myself “Oh snap! “ (You read correctly, I said oh snap! I have decided to bring it back single handedly) Instead the middle aged lady broke down into tears and expressed her desire and dreams to be a size two. The doctor comforted her for about ten minutes, and then explained to her that not everyone is made or built to be a size two. The lady strongly protested and stormed out of the doctor’s office. After the commotion, the doctor apologized to me and proceeded with my examination. She checked the regular things, the ears, my pulse etc…. Then it was time for her ask me my weight!! Due to the other ladies outburst, I decided to be truthful and tell her my weight and height before she made me get on the scale. She wrote my weight on some chart then continued with the exam. Was I fine? Did I need to lose weight? My curiosity got to me and I had to ask! I asked with hesitation… “Hey doc……what size should I be”? The pause between my question and the doctor’s answer was at least an hour!! Well at least it seemed like that. The doc took out a chart and told me that according to my height and bone structure I should be a size four!!!! Well ladies, I ain’t a size four! Looks like I got some work to do! The doc told me not to worry about it so much. She said if I lose ten to fifteen pounds I should be good. That’s what I intend to do! I have been working my butt off and I’m down a few pounds already! Why are women so touchy about weight? I know I am. If my husband makes one wrong look at what I’m eating I turn incredible hulk on him and tear him to shreds! (I’m pretty sure I turn green and rip my clothes to! ) What is it? Why can’t women feel comfortable in our own skin? If you need to lose weight, why can’t we do it with a smile and love who we are in the process. Are men like this? Why aren’t men like this? How do we teach women of the next generation to appreciate the skin their in? What are your thoughts? Until next time, always be on the lookout for yourself inspired beauty. Even if part of your beauty evolves loosing weight or being comfortable in the skin you’re in.

Optimum Style

So, remember when everyone was wearing the biggest sunglasses they could find? A big bag, a scarf and pair of huge sunglasses where what made you look like a "it" girl lol! But now a days , women tend to be leaning toward the sunglass that look more sleek. Aviators and vintage 1980 style wayfarer's are everywhere! I have at least five pairs of aviators , but not one pair of wayfarers! I simply must go try them on to see how they look on me! What do you like better the aviators or the wayfarer's? Or are you sticking to your big bold sunglasses? (the picture above is Nicole Riche in wayfarer's)

Optimum Inspiration ( what will your legacy be?)

Love him or hate him , admire him or despise him, it is clear to see that Micheal Jackson left a huge impression on the world. Watching his funeral yesterday really made me realize how many people really loved him and how much good he did in this world. Micheal Jackson left a lasting impression on this world and his legacy will live on forever.
While tuned into Micheal Jackson memorial service yesterday, I started thinking. When I'm dead and gone what will my legacy be? what will people remember me for? Will they remember me as the girl with the NY attitude? Will they remember me for the girl who always wanted to do something big in her life but never did? Will they remember me for being funny, or pretty, or a little prissy? The other day I was talking with my friend Cherie (you will see that name a lot....She is my home girl! lol ! ) and we were briefly discussing the fact that women often limit ourselfs. We put what we can accomplish in our life in a box and never step out of that box. We are told that we should go to school, get a job,get married, and have children. Now, don't get me wrong, that is the obvious progression in life but, can we have more? When asking my mother in law what her aspirations where when she was younger she replied " I just wanted to become a wife, mother, and a secretary" Then I asked her if she had any other goals in her life. My mother in law responded " Yeah, I would have loved to write a cook book and open a restaurant" When I asked her why she didn't she simply said that it was a foolish dream. Why do our dreams have to be foolish? Why do we have to stay inside the box? Why cant we build a phenomenal legacy that we are proud of! What if my mother in law opened her restaurant? Where would she have been now? Don't be afraid to fail. Failure is just apart of life. In my opinion, its better to have failed at something you want, then to have never even tried! What is it that you want to do? What do you want your legacy to be? I have a very clear idea of what I want people to remember me for. I plan on trying my hardest to accomplish the goals that I set for myself and believe in God to do the rest. Stay tuned for SHUKURA TAYLORS LEGACY!!! Whats yours?.. until next time , define your legacy and always be on the look out for your self inspired beauty!!

SELF INSPIRED BEAUTY OF THE MONTH

Since I have been 16 I have been on the quest to find what my purpose in life was. At one point I wanted to work for the United Nations. At another point I wanted to be a social worker. I even contemplated being a journalist, until something hit me and I made the grand announcement that I WAS GOING TO BECOME A TEACHER!! Yes, finally I found what I wanted to do with my life right! WRONG! It wasn't until recently that I realized that I do in fact have teaching in my spirit however, my teaching energy is in another realm of teaching. My goal now is to teach women how to find and appreciate their self inspired beauty, to go after their goals, and to accept nothing less then pure happiness in their life. Its a great thing when you finally realize your goals in life.
This month Self Inspired Beauty figured out her goals at the young age of 21. Allyson Marie Leak is a jewelry designer, a journalist, a motivational speaker and much more. ( check out her jewelry at allymarie.com) In 2001, Allyson attended Temple University and majored in broadcast journalism. She became the founder and editor-in-chief of “She Mag”, a magazine focused on uplifting and uniting young women.A magazine like " She Mag" is hard to find these days. That is why its always amazing when you find a women who enjoys inspiring and uplifting other women.Especially in our subculture were women often put each other down and are Major haters. After graduating, Allyson moved to New York City and became a writer for Hype Hair Magazine, Angela Simmons “Rundown Mag” and Soul Food magazine. This was also the time Allyson started designing her jewelry line. In 2007 Allyson was a featured “fashion writer” on an episode of MTV’s hit show “Runs House”. Allyson is truly the epitome of a self inspired beauty. Her beauty clearly lies not only on her outer appearance but it is evident that she takes pride in her creative beauty also. To be so accomplished at her age is clearly proof of her creative beauty as well as her entrepreneurial spirit. Through reading her amazing blog ( she-blogs.com) You will discover that she has a passion for uniting, empowering ,and uplifting womens accomplishments.I have been extremely impressed by her as well as inspired, Allyson was gracious enough to let me feature her in my blog so that you can have the opportunity to be introduced to a true self inspired beauty. Check out my interview with Allyson below. Allyson has made it even more clear to me that life can not be lived to its fullest extent , unless you are inspired. Until next time, always be on the look out for your self inspired beauty.

(Don't forget to check out Allyson's Blog SHE-BLOGS.com and her Jewelry line at allymarie.com. Did you miss last months Self inspired beauty of the month Cielta Thomas? click on this link to catch up http://selfinspiredbeauty.blogspot.com/2009/05/self-inspired-beauty-of-month.html )

How would you describe your style?

Ally: Hmmm. My style changes with my mood. But usually I like classic simple chic pieces that are reminiscent of a great fashion era like the 40’s or 60’s

Skinny leg or boot cut ?

Ally: Well maybe a few months ago I would have said skinny leg but now I am into both. I like boot leg high waist pants if I am wearing a high platform pump. But I won’t do boot cut with flats…

Stiletto or pump?

Ally: I am so over super skinny heels because they make my feet hurt LOL.

Mac store or Sephora?

Ally: Well I barely ever wear makeup but if I had to choose I would say Sephora because it’s like being in a makeup candy shop with all the great brands.

Pointy toe or round toe?

Ally: For Fall I will be doing round toe…

What’s the one beauty product you can’t live without?

Ally: LIP GLOSS. If I leave home without some gloss then I will buy some while I’m out...

What do you admire most in a women?

Ally: That we are so strong by nature. Even through hard times we manage to come out on top or at least ask for help.

What do you think is the most important asset a women can posses?

Ally: Honesty… If you can get to a point in your life where you view your honesty and integrity as sacred attributes then you have come far in my opinion.

What in your environment inspires you to recognize your self-inspired beauty?

Ally: Hmmm I have little things around my apartment that serve as reminders for me. I have famous quotes about life and quotes that I have written. I have affirmations to help me get through the day. I also have really girly creative decorative accents in my apartment like bright turquoise candles and a pearl antique picture frame that just remind me of beauty and make me happy ;)

What in your environment inspired you to chase after your dreams? Ally: Well my mother has been supporting my efforts ever since I was about eight years old. I wanted a t-shirt business and she bought me an airbrush t-shirt machine. I wanted a jewelry business and the next day we were in the craft store buying clay beads and baking them at home. She has supported my creativity and entrepreneurial spirit and that is why I can do what I do now.

What was your first step in becoming a jewelry designer/vendor ?

Ally: I went to the bead store and picked beads I liked. I bought pliers and wire and went home and started practicing.

How old where you when you realized what your life's goal was?

Ally: I realized my life goal or one of them at the age of 21. At 21 I had a revelation. I knew that I was supposed to help people. I am using my blog as my first outlet to get that dream started.

If you weren't living in New York being a jewelry designer/ public speaker/ everything else what would you be doing instead?

Ally: I would love to one day live a very simple life. I would be living on an island somewhere. I would wake up everyday on this island to journal, meditate, and pray, raise a family, and work with kids at a center. I love my lifestyle now but would also love to experience that one day.


If you could give once piece of advice to a woman who is an entrepreneur, what would it be?

Ally: There are a million paths to the same destination. Meaning try not to get frustrated when you work hard or create a path and things go differently. They go differently because there is a divine plan for you and if you learn to work with it or go with its flow then everything falls into place at the right time. And stay away from negative people. Remember there is nothing normal about following your dreams. It means being out of the box, being abnormal and trust me people will not understand you but try to ignore them and keep it moving. It takes perseverance, a lot of courage, and discipline to follow your dreams and if you think you can do it then please at least try.

Why do you consider yourself a self-inspired beauty? Do you feel that all women should recognize their self-inspired beauty? If so why?

Ally: I am a self-inspired beauty because I don’t need anyone or anything to define me. I wear what I want, do what I want, and dance how I want (LOL) and rarely every worry about what people think about me. Part of loving your self is being free. The more you grow and learn about yourself and the world around you then there is this indescribably feeling of “freeness” that comes along with it and it’s amazing! I think that all women should aim to find their self inspired beauty because it makes life that much more enjoyable.

Optimum Appreciation 2

The other day around three o'clock I sat in the public library trying to get some much needed work done, when at least twenty to thirty junior high school kids came yelling and screaming into the library. They were running around and knocking books off of the shelfs just to be funny. It was driving me insane! In the mist of of this craziness I noticed a little girl with long braids and cute little pink glasses in the corner reading a Baby sitters club book. Remember those? She was so into the book that she didn't even look up. Ever so often I would hear her giggle or sigh at whatever was taking place in the book. It was adorable! She was perfectly content until a group of girls walked over to her and started to harass her . They called her ugly, pulled her hair, then made fun of what she was wearing. ( which was cute to me, it looked kinda like a forever 21 sun dress it matched her little pink sunglasses) they told her she smelled, she was stupid, and nobody liked her! Then they pushed her out of her seat and made her move to another seat. I felt so bad for this little girl. I felt like I should go say something to her. I told myself to mind my business but then she started to cry, and the nurturer in me came out! I collected my things and went to sit at her table. Soon after the girls that were harassing her left. I was then able to talk to this little girl who's name was Linzze ( Hi Linzze!) She proceeded to tell me that ever since the boys in her class announced that she was the prettiest person in their class the girls in her class have been unbearably mean to her. No matter what she does, they just don't like her ! She even said that one day she ask one of the girls " why are you so mean to me?" The little girl responded " Cause you think your prettier then all of us and your not !! " Sound familiar ? Ladies in our subculture, its apparent that we have a problem with hating. It starts from a very young age and goes on for the rest of our life's. Have you seen or heard a man say that he doesn't like another man because he can play ball better then him? In most cases men respect a man who is more talented. Why cant we be like that? I use to think that my sole purpose on this earth was to mold and develop the minds of the youth and help them achieve their academic goals. However, I now know that teaching is in my spirit and its my life goal to teach women young and old to love them selfs. I would love for women to have the type of comradery that men have. I plan on changing that as much as I can. Lets all start by learning how to appreciate our selfs. Learning how to love our down falls and our positives aspects is where it starts then we can surely appreciate the good in other women without putting them down. Don't know what your positive assets are? Ask someone! A good person to ask is always a family member. Family can often be brutally honest. But you get what you are looking for. Linzze now checks my blog everyday to keep her loving herself and in good spirits. She also checks the Steve Madden website every day for new shoe arrives! A girl after my own heart ! Linzze promised me that she would try her hardest to ignore those silly girls and that she would be on the look out for her self inspired beauty. You should to!
(The first installment of this serious was on 5/14/09. If you missed it go check it out)

Optimum Shoes!!

My shoe purchase for the week. They are ubber comfortable and sooooo cute! Love them! Jessica Simpson's has cute affordable shoes. ( GO to Marshalls)

Optimum Beauty

Hey S.I.B's ! I hope everyones week has been great! The summer is here and its time for sun dresses, shorts,tank tops and sandals. I love the summer because this time of year is when some of my most flirty outfits come out to play! With all this skin we ladies have showing in the summer, the perfect accessory is beautiful skin. I take so much pride in my skin and I have been loving the results! It all started in September when I realized that my skin wasn't looking as good as it did in the start of the summer of 08'. So I went on the look out for the perfect facial scrub. I tried so many drug store brands and they helped me but they didn't give me my desired look. As a result, I went to sephora to see what they had. To my surprise they had everything! However, everything cost 30 dollars and above!.....Did I want to buy face scrub or eat?...Ok that might be a little dramatic but Omg!!! I guess you have to pay for beauty right?. Wrong! I tried to buy it but I just couldn't. Early that day I saw a pair of ruby red swede pumps on sale for forty dollars! I soooo needed them. So I decided to skip the scrub, buy the shoes, and make my own facial scrub! I did my research and made a scrub at home . The scrub I concocted made my skin so soft and smooth and even looking!!! I call it my shoe facial scrub, because if I keep making my own beauty products I can buy more shoes!!!! Yes people I'm obsessed! Anyway, I will give you the recipe at the bottom of this post so that we all can have beautiful skin!!! Try it! It worked for me! Until next time always be on the look out for self inspired beauty.


Shoe Facial Scrub

half cup brown sugar ( To exfoliate )
forth cup extra virgin olive oil ( to moisturise )
two tablespoons of lemon juice (to fight off acne)
one tablespoon of coconut oil (for softer skin)

* these are the main ingredients I have added a few more ingredients to mine that are good for my skin. But do your own research and see whats good for your skin.

Optimum Knowledge ( I am not my hair) Part 2

On the train yesterday I saw the most beautiful women. She wasn't quite dressed in something I would wear but, somehow it added to her beauty. She was a very chocolate sista with dark brown almost black eyes! She also had the most amazing afro I ever seen. It was huge!! Her hair was jet black and her afro was on her shoulders!! I was in amazement. She was sporting this beautiful brown and yellow maxi dress with gold sandals.She had a brass statement necklace with a brass cuff bracelet on her arm. She looked very earthy and she was amazing!!! So of course I complemented her and told her how stunning she was. ( any other self inspired beauty would have done the same, because we are not threatened by other womens beauty) She graciously thanked me and we went on talking about how long she had been growing her hair and the fact that she made her own dress!! Once she got off the train, the African American man next to me said, and I quote " Why did you lie to that girl? You and I both know she could have used a perm!" I had to stop, regroup, and get myself together because I didn't want to be rude. That same man and two other ladies sitting next to me then proceeded to tell me how beautiful I was because I have a perm and my skin was lighter then hers. WHAT!?!?! You can safely assume that I was outraged! Let me assure you that this womens afro would outshine my little permed hair any day! The question is, why would this man and two ladies feel that I was more beautiful because of my perm and brown skin? What where their standards of beauty? Why do people of color deal with the white slandered of beauty that has become main stream for all other cultures? I find it interesting that when I walk into my local beauty supply store I find products that are meant to bleach your skin. Products such as Fair and White and Light Bright. The other day I was watching my favorite Asian women on youtube do a video about how she brought all of these products to lighten her skin! Correct me if I'm wrong but, aren't Asian people already pretty darn light?! How women of color define their beauty has been based on white culture.We all know this by now. The question is how do we stop it? How can I get Asian women to love their eyes and their skin. How do I get black women to love their skin and their hair? And how do I get Indian women to love their skin and dark brown eyes? I don't have all the answers however, I am certain of one thing. The best route in defining and embracing the beauty God gave you is simply this.......always be on a constant look out for your self inspired beauty!

Optimum Power ( Its a harsh truth)

I know I just did a installment of optimum power last week but IF ONE MORE WOMEN SAYS " BUT I LOVE HIM ! " I think I'm going to force my self to take a bottle of sleeping pills!!! I was listening to the Michael Baisden show this week while driving home. One of the topics this week on his show was why women marry men even if the man has cheated on them before. When I heard the topic I instantly thought that women were going to call in to the show and be outraged ! I thought women would defend womanhood by explaining that it was a very small portion of women who had low enough self esteem to still stay with or marry a man who has cheated on her and has taken all her self respect. To my surprise every women ( with the exception of one) called in to say that they rather be with a cheating man then be alone!!!!!!!!!!!! Is this absolutely ridiculous to anyone else besides me?! I thought we as women all subscribed to the thought that " I can do bad by myself". But once again my fellow women have surprised me. Was I naive in thinking this? What is it that causes a women to not only stay with a man but marry a man after several cases of infidelity on the mans part? Is it enough that he has apologized ? Is it enough that he knows he was wrong now he wants to marry you? NOT GOOD ENOUGH! Part of being a S.I.B is realizing when your being duped! What makes you think that he wont cheat on you again? Think to yourself , why does he want to marry me? If he cheats on me or has inappropriate relationships with other women does he love me or even respect me? Can I be with or marry a man like that? Is having a husband worth loosing my power? I recently got a degree in counseling and this topic very often entered the curriculum. As a result, I was able to do some research on this matter.I found out that women who give up their power, most of the time lack the level of self esteem it takes to find and keep their power. Do you know that men know that once they have found a women with low self esteem that they have free reign to do whatever they want? Don't believe me? I have polled 50 men about their feelings about women with low self esteem and the results are staggering!!!( I have attached the result of this poll below) This is part of the reason I started this blog. I want women to be able to find there inner S.I.B ( self inspired beauty) so that they can realize their power in their world. I don't know how many times that I can say this but, we have soooooo much power that we dont utilize. Being a S.I.B starts with realizing your inner power. What are your opinions on this topic? Please take time to read the results of the poll below . You will be astonished. Keep a look out for the next installment of Optimum power titled " Do you keep dealing with no good men ? Maybe the problem is you." Until next time! You know how we get down, so always be on the look out for your S.I.B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ok ladies here is the poll I promised you. (Please note that this is not man bashing. I am not a man basher because there are great men out there who don't cheat or have inappropriate relationships with other women. THERE ARE GOOD MEN OUT THERE!! )The men range from the age of 18 to 35. They are all different races and come from different backgrounds. Read through the questions I asked men , but clutch your pearls ladies the answers will surprise you.

Is a women with low self esteem a great find because you know you can get away with anything you want ?
48 said yes 2 said no

Is a women with low self esteem your ideal women?
50 said no

Do men do what they can get away with ?
47 said yes 3 said no

Is a confident women with high self esteem and a strong sense of confidence a turn on?
50 said yes

Is a women who has low self esteem , who does whatever you want and keeps coming back to you despite anything a turn on?
50 said no

Can you spot a women with low self esteem?
46 said yes 4 said no

On a scale of 1 to 3( three being the best) how much of a turn on is it to find a women who knows her power and is in touch with their inner S,I.B ?
49 said 3 and 1 man said 2

Optimum Shopping!!!!!!!!!!! ( or wishing)

Summer is coming and Im super stoked about wearing sun dresses!!! I love , love. LOVE these two dresses! They are a very inexpensive version of a Betsy Johnson dress and a Diane Von Furstenburg dress I came across while pursing the internet. The shoes are Jessica Simpson and are in my price range........someone tell me I don't need them and I need to save my money!!!! I have a internal battle with myself about these shoes because I have a similar pair but the are pointy toes......it is totally different right?

Optimum Power ( what contributes to a good relationship)

(I wrote the first installment of this series on May 7, 2009 .Go check it out if you haven't read it yet its titled "optimum power". It gives great insight to what this series will deal with.)


Coming from a family of divorced parents , I was very careful in selecting a man. I was strategic in plotting out my plans to make sure that I wouldn't get hurt and that I would find a man who loves and cherishes me. I was in desperate need of whatever the opposite was that my parents had. Since I have been eighteen I have been on the look out for what where the signs of a good relationship. During my quest to find what makes up a good relationship ,I observed older couples and couples that have been together and have had a successful relationship. I have also payed close attention to those relationships that failed, who had constant auguring, and constant issues. My observation lead me to several thoughts . I realized that in every single relationship that I admired the couple were best friends. I don't mean they just say that they are BFF's but they are honestly best friends. They laugh with each other, they have inside jokes, they can tell each other everything, and they can hang out with each other all day. They are who they are with or without their partner. You can easily spot these couples . If they are in a group of people, they are usually close to each other having their own inside jokes. They are the couple who often make eye contact across the room and can know what the other is thinking. Think of your best friend. What are things you share with them? Those are the same things that you should share with your partner! Most of the couples that I admire where friends first and have been together for many many years! ( shout out to Cherie and Keith and Jason and Celita) I have been with my husband for nine and a half years and we have been married for almost two years. When people ask " aren't you sick of each other yet? We kindly answer " You cant get sick of your best friend,sometimes they are all you got !" We can hang out all day and have a blast!!!!!!! He is truly my best friend. Before we got married everyone wanted to give us advice. The one thing that everyone said was that what makes up a a great long lasting relationship is friendship. Now this is not to say that best friends don't occasionally disagree. But a BFF can say what they have to say and move on. You ever wonder about those couples you break up to make up over and over again? Are they asking for a slow death!!! Do you stop being a BFF"S with your friend when you disagree ? Of course you don't! You each say your thoughts and you work it out and move on. Believe me having a best friend and a lover in one person is heaven!!!!!! ( love you babe). What do you think ? How important is friendship to a relationship? Is your mate your bff ? Stay tuned for the next installment of optimum power. In the mean time you know what to do.........be on the look out for your S.I.B!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Optimum Hair

Hello S.I.B's !!!!! ( Self inspired Beauty's)I just wanted to quickly share with you a website that I frequent. Through this website I have learned so much about African American hair and how to take care of it. With the advice from this website I have grown my hair from shoulder length to APL ( Arm pit length) Since November. These women are so serious about African American haircare and I am sure a lot of us can benefit from the knowledge they post on the website. There is advice for natural hair, relaxed hair , dreads, and braids!!! There is a lot we don't know about our hair as black women. We feel that the only way to achieve long hair is if we have dreads.This is not true! The majority of these women have hair much longer then mine and have achieved their length in a year!!! Take some time and examine the website and the pictures people post. They are amazing. The creater of the website has waist length hair and is still growing her hair out!!! The website is http://keepitsimplesista.ning.com/ Have fun learning about your hair. Remember to always be on the lookout for your S.I.B!!!!!

Optimum Maintenance

Being a women oftentimes means we have so much on our plate. We often take the lead role in many situations. If you are a stay at home mother or a single lady in the city, finding time to take care of yourself is oftentimes hard to do. It is because of this that I have scheduled appointments with myself to perform routine maintenance to keep myself looking and feeling good.It is my experience that when I look good I feel good, so the maintenance schedule I have made up for my self is very important to me.My schedule is as follows : Monday,Wednesday,and Friday are the days I take care of myself. On Mondays I co-wash and deep condition my hair . I do this a hour before my show so that while watching television my hair has time to air dry( I don't use heat on my hair more then once a month) . Wednesday is when I do my manicure.I soak my nails ,push back the cuticle, massage the cuticle with my cuticle cream, then I paint my nails with a nail strengthener. Sometimes I paint my nails a certain color but if I'm tired that wont happen. Friday is the day that I really take my time and cover all basis. On Friday I wash my hair, deep condition my hair, touch up my manicure, give myself a facial , shave, and give myself a body scrub. Off course there are things I do daily to keep up appearance. Working out,skin care ,makeup, drink plenty of water etc.. What is it that you do to keep yourself looking good and feeling amazing? Maintenance is a vital part in my self inspired beauty, is it for you?

Optimum Inspiration

Ladies you know those days when you know you look good. You know the days when your hair is right, your outfit is on point, and despite the fact that your feet are killing you, you are still walking like you just put your heels on! Well, I had a day like that a few days ago. My hair was in a cute funky up do and I was wearing dark blue skinny jeans with a ruffle brown top. To top it off, I had on my stacked brown peep toe Steve Maddens and was carrying my knock off Marc Jacobs bag. ( don't judge me.....you don't know my story lol !) Anyway, I was looking FIERCE! So I decided to go run some errands. On my way to the beauty supply store ( yes that is a errand! I needed a deep conditioner and maybe a new nail polish!!!) I realized that despite the fact that the night before I got into argument with my mother, despite the fact that there were several bills due,and despite the fact that I seemed to have miraculously gained two pounds.....I was feeling pretty darn good. I got up that morning and said "I'm going feel good." I felt good cause I looked good! What makes you feel good? Is it taken pride in your appearance, like me? Is it studying that extra hour for a test? Is it creating a master piece out of your specified art? Or is it taken that extra time at the gym to work on your abs? Whatever it is that makes you happier......do it! Life is to short to live a miserable life. Stay Positive! Life cant be lived to the fullest unless you are inspired. Always be on the look out for Your self inspired beauty!!!!!!!!!!!

Optimum Knowledge ( I am not my hair)

As I sit here in this coffee house in Harlem, I see such a plethora of beautiful women. These women run the gambit of white women with long straight hair to dark skin black women with amazing Afros. I can sit here and observe and appreciate the outer beauty in all these women. I try to see beauty in everyone .Unfortunately, Not many people can share my sentiments. How we define beauty in this county is largely based on what we see in the media. The lighter you are or the straighter your hair is the more desirable you are. This attitude often rolls over to our everyday life and often is a huge road block in women finding and defining their S.I.B (self inspired beauty). My friend Hemangi (a beautiful Indian women who finds her S.I.B in not only her education but in her innate ability to want to correct injustice)brought to my attention a article in Metro newspaper entitled " We've Got A lot In Our Hair" written by Marc Lamont Hill. In his article he discussed his visit to a African American private school. The principal of this school was planning on changing the school dress code to exclude natural hairstyles such as braids and dreads. The claim of this principal is that these hairstyles are not professional and they will not help in the "real world". What does this mean? As a country are we telling our young black people that what they were naturally born with is not professional or desirable? Are we telling them that the only way they can get a job is if they chemically straighten their hair to resemble their white counterparts? This issue also extends to other cultures. In the white community, often the women who has blond hair and blue eyes is conceived as being more attractive as oppose to a women with olive skin, dark brown eyes, and dark hair.Or in the Indian community were Aishwarya Rai ,a talented Bollywood actress with green eyes, is conceived as being the definition of Indian beauty. Or in the Asian community were " eye correction surgery" ( this is when a person of Asian descent gets surgery on their eyes to appear less Asian....MADNESS!!!) is becoming increasingly more popular. Why is this? There are obvious reasons, and not so obvious reasons, why beauty in this country is based solely on a white standard of beauty.This article is the first in a serious of articles that I will refer to as " I am not my hair". The serious will deal with the issues women of color face about how they define their beauty. What are you thoughts on this matter? How do you define your outer beauty? As always I have many opinions (My husband says I am very opinionated.....I wonder why?) Anyway, Until next time! Remember to ALWAYS be on the look out for you Self Inspired beauty!

Optiimum Appreciation

The other day I was walking in Manhattan when two men rolled down their windows and yelled something obscene and gestured for me to come over to their car. I politely smiled and kept walking ( after all I am a taken lady). These three unattractive women ( they were unattractive because they were acting ugly!!) were crossing the street the same time that I was. They assumed that the guys in the car were talking to them. When the group of girls decided to walk over to the car the men inside said " Not you fat girls , the pretty one walking the other direction" Great! I was the only women on the other side of the street! In all of NYC, at that time I had to be the only person going that direction! After the guy made that comment I crossed the street from my direction and the group of ladies crossed the street from their direction. Now I was directly in front of the firing squad! In passing, one of the girls bumped me and said " Move out the way B@tch! " I was Sooo mad! I could not understand why she was mad at me. I did nothing to her! I didn't say anything! I didn't even look her way before she bumped me! What I did next might not have been the best way to handle this but, after she bumped me and told me to move over I said " I wouldn't have to move out the way if you weren't so fat B@itch!" Forgive me father for I know not what I do!!! Ok....maybe I was well aware of what I was doing but I am pretty sure she had it coming right?!!!....Wrong....I should have let it go. My question is why are women so nasty and toward one another. If a women looks good why cant we complement her instead of putting her down. Think about it, when another women gives you a complement, how does it make you feel? It makes me feel great!!! I know I love getting complements so I like to give them out. Ladies, we need to stop being threatened and give credit were credit is do. We should stop hating and start appreciating!!!! ( that was little corny but, you get what I'm saying ) There will always be a women who is prettier then you,smarter then you, and even skinner than you but if you realize your own beauty , these women wont be a threat to you. Ladies if you are constantly on the look out for your self inspired beauty, the practice of not hating will come easily!!! Until next time!!!!!

Optimum Health (You are what you eat)

If in fact you are what you eat, why in the world am I presently resembling a round juicy apple ,more then that slender, sleek, yummy chocolate Twix bar that I had a moment ago? Someone really needs to let my jeans know about the "you are what you eat" concept....because apparently....they didn't get the memo! One of my BFF's said to me the other day "what you put in your body is just as important as what you put on your body. " (famous words by Cherie Keogh) I recently realized that I spend so much time thinking about what I'm putting on my body that what goes in my body rarely takes precedence.The yo-yo dieting, the eating late, and the huge portions of food are really hurting my insides. I decided last week that I am going to make a life style change and start treating my body the way I treat my new Jessica Simpson round toe pumps! ( just got them at DSW....AMAZING!!) I want to treat my body with care and make better choices . I also decided to work on my mind set. I will stop calling myself fat. I know Im not fat, but the images of those size 0 models just makes me want to shove a big mac down their throat!...........Sorry i lost my head... A VEGGIE BURGER DOWN THEIR THROAT ( this is about healthy eating after all...lol ! ) I would love to loose some weight but I am in no way a tub of lard. Ladies, we all need to start treating our bodies like a precious commodity, because it is! We need to stop comparing ourself to other people and start to live our healthy life. Did you know that 78 percent of black women are overweight!....Just that percentage alone made me wanna put down my Snickers bar and pick up a banana! If your two thin ,overweight, or just have bad eating habits, it time to change now! Join me while I try to obtain optimum beauty,self esteem, and health. I'm going to be on the look out for my self inspired beauty!!!!!!

SELF INSPIRED BEAUTY OF THE MONTH

I have been privileged to have known some amazing women who are so clearing self inspired. This is why I have decided to incorporate a "self inspired beauty of the month". The very first women I am going to feature inspired me to follow my dreams. She even inspired me to start this blog! She pretty much told me to get off my butt,stop complaining and do what makes me happy.( she said it in a much nicer way of course) That is why I see fit to feature her first . We went to college together for a little while. She has since lived in Australia for a year and has traveled to other parts of the world. She is now in the world of fashion and costume design and has gotten to work with people such as Donald Trump and Chirsettie Michelle. I want to be like her when I grow up! She has a amazing man who is very clearly in love with her and treats her like the queen she is.One night at their amazing apartment in Harlem, Jason ( her man) said to me " She keeps me laughing, she is like my little laugh machine.....I Love her" . He is right! She is very funny! That very same night she broke out in a break dance on a whim while her man cheered her on! Very funny! They are clearly in love. She has a amazing sense of style! Her accessory game is on point! She incorporates vintage pieces into her outfits which bring the outfit to a new level. Last time I saw her she was wearing a vintage scarf around her neck that was tied in the most chic way that she didn't even need any more accessories! She even had a idea that one weekend we should go vintage. She called it "Vintage Sundays" when she does go I will most certainly be there. I need to step up my accessory game and she is just the person to show me how.Not only is her style amazing but so is her heart. I love the way that she can see the beauty in other women because as women we often "hate and don't appreciate" She gives compliments to women without feeling threatened. It is my belief, that this is one of the signs of being a Self inspired beauty. The women I am talking about is Cielita Thomas , Self inspired beauty of the month. Thanks Cielita for kicking my butt into gear to follow my dreams.


May 1 at 11:49am
Reply
Name: Cielita Thomas

Occupation: Fashion Stylist/Costume Designer

Whats your Inspiration in life? My life……(the ups coupled w/ the downs).lol

What city do you live in? Harlem, NY

How would you describe your style? Vintage Glam w/ a side of Rocker Chic

Skinny leg or boot cut jeans? Skinny

pointy toe or round to shoes? Round

Whats your best asset? My smile

Whats your fav beauty product? There’s too many…….I’m totally a product junky. Lol. Mmmmm…okay, maybe coconut oil. It’s great for hair and body and I gotta have my bronzer, blush, and a lil mascara.

What do admire most in a women? Our innate ability to nurture.

What do you feel the most important asset is that a women can posses? Love for self and positive energy.

What in your environment inspires you to know your beauty? Great question!! Omg!!! Ummmmm. NYC and all the beautiful ppl and forms of art here. You can’t help but be inspired by this place. We turn trash into beauty! Lol

Do you consider your self a self inspired beauty? Yes, I am self inspired on a regular basis but the strength of others inspires me the most.

Optimum Power ( Dont give up your power)

Today I was riding on the four train . At the Union Square stop, a young couple walked into the train . They were clearing aggravated and arguing with one another. The young lady , who wasn't more then 18 years old, was impeccably dressed. She was wearing the most dainty round toe Steve Maddens that I drooled over while browsing on 34th street the other day. She had the most outrageous theory empire waste navy blue dress and a knock off Louis Vuitton speedy purse ( oh yea.... I can spot a knock off!) Her hair was in a well kept curly afro with light brown highlights. She wore light gold eyeshadow and deep red nail polish. She was simply stunning! The young man she was with had much less curb appeal. He was clearly in need of a haircut and desperately in need of a shave! And I might be mistaken, but I am pretty sure he was missing his two front teeth! He was in no way as attractive as the young lady.I was extremely taken back that they were even together. Not only did she look better then him but she was clearly on another level mentally. He held a ipod touch and was blaring some song by Rick Ross , while she held a copy of " I know why the caged birds sings" by Maya Angelou. Every other word out of his mouth was a curse while she decided to speak softly during their argument. They just were not on the same level! I was very intrigued with their conversation, though I tried to play it off by pretending to read my most recent book. They were arguing about the no tooths guy whereabouts the previous night. The young lady informed him that he was caught because her mother saw him on her block kissing another girl!!!! OMG! At this point I was waiting for the break up speech. You know the one that says your a dog, I'm not giving you anymore chances, and I'm better than you. But that speech never came.The whole ride back to Brooklyn the girl was apologizing to this no tooth guy for not trusting him. I wanted to scream! Her mother told her about him cheating, he has done this to before and he is not even on this chicks level!!!! Why cant this girl just get a better man?! One of my biggest issues with women is that we don't realize the power that we have. We often find some looser guy who is not worth our time,body,and soul and we surrender all of our power! What do I mean by power? Women if you realize it or not we run things ! If a man is truly in love with a women he will do anything in his power to make that women happy. You ever heard a older couple who has been together for years talk about their relationship? If you have you often hear the husband say " If mama aint happy then nobody is happy" or the husband will say " Ask the wife, she is boss lady" Not to toot my own horn but ,My man will go out his way and make himself uncomfortable just to make me happy. ( hey boo!) He always has, and because he loves me I will always be first on his list. How do I know? He told me! Most importantly he shows me. Ladies I guarantee you when you realize and find your power that is when you will attract a good man. Good men like strong women who don't let them do whatever they want. This is why ladies the "Bitch" always gets the man. (more about that later) . Below I have comprised a list of what constitutes a good man and a undesirable man. Read the list and tell me what you think. Please feel free to add or subtract to list in the comment section.( click on the word comment at the end of the article) This is the first in my series I'm calling "optimum power"......stayed tuned for the next installment titled " The Signs of a Good Relationship" .Remember that you are the prize and that you should be treated as such. Its ok to let a man spoil you and make you his queen. When you know you got a good man........MAKE HIM YOUR KING!.....I got my king! Anyone who knows me knows that I am spoiled because of my King .......Until next time, I gotta go right now...King Reggie needs some attending to....... But in the meantime be on the lookout for your self inspired beauty

SIGNS OF A GOOD MAN

He often puts your needs first
He often wants you to be happy
HE NEVER CHEATS!!!!!
HE NEVER CHEATS!!!
oh and HE NEVER CHEATS!!!
He calls you often just because
He ask you how your day was
When asked " Baby do i look fat in this?" He quickly replies "Sweetie how can such a beautiful women ever look fat in anything! "
He is respectful
He opens the door for you. ( My man still opens the door for me and we have been together for almost ten years)
When your happy.....he is happy
He is a man of integrity


SIGNS OF A LOOSER

His needs always comes first
He clearly doesn't take your felling into consideration
He often lies about where he was
HE CHEATS ON YOU!!
He flirts with other women and has inappropriate relationships with them
HE CHEATS ON YOU!!!
He only text you
He is disrespectful to you
HE CHEATS ON YOU!!

You have to ask him to change his relationship status on facebook to " in a relationship" and ladies don't buy the excuse that he forgot. Because when a man is in love, he is not afraid to put it out there.

He wants to keep your relationship on the Down low for awhile. What! Tell him you will not be his best kept secret. This is just a sign that he wants to keep his options open. Don't believe me? Ask any honest man who will tell you the truth.I did, and they all said the same thing.

HE CHEATS ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Optimum Shoes!!!!

As I pack up my apartment to move, I sit here and ponder the importance of life………………………….just kidding! Instead, I wondered how in the name of Jimmy Choo did I get so many shoes!!!! I never realized I had so many pairs of shoes! While packing I pulled out some shoes that I haven’t seen in months! It’s like I went shopping in my own closet, because I have formulated some amazing outfits based on these new/old shoes that I found. After packing I ended up having THREE huge boxes of shoes! I counted my shoes and I had a whopping 136 pairs of shoes! I did give ten pair to good will so I now have 126 pairs of shoes ….and that’s not including my boots. I’m just to mortified to tell you how many boots I have , plus a girls gotta keep some mystery right? After I realized that I had so many pair of shoes I wondered what my obsession was all about. (Don’t be fooled I am most defiantly obsessed. When I had a walk in closet, and I was sad I would sit in my closet surrounded by shoes because that made me feel better!..........can you say crazy ?) Why do women love shoes? I believe that it is a combination of things. One, women love variety. This is why we try to change our hair so often, or why we like to change the décor in our home with every season. A great pair of shoes can make an outfit look completely different; giving us that variety we are looking for. Another reason why I love shoes is because they always fit. No matter what I eat my peep toe off white sling back Marc Jacobs will always fit and look fabulous! What are some of the reasons you love shoes? Leave a comment and let me know your reasons .For those of you who don’t love shoes…..Shame on you!!!!!!.........JK
These are some of my go to shoe websites that I frequent. They are from all price points starting at twenty dollars going to a few hundred dollars. Check them out.
endless.com
lithiaparkshoes.com
cutesygirl.com
zappos.com
shoemall.com
shoes.com
shoebuy.com
overstock.com
gojane.com
• Of course you can always go to Aldo, Bakers, Nieman Marcus, DSW, Macys, Bergdorf Goodman etc…

Optimum Beauty " How to dress your body" (Banana shaped)

Living in New York enables me to meet a lot of different people with different ideas and styles. During my endeavors this weekend I was able to really observe many women and how they dressed their body and unfortunately it wasn’t pretty. Many women don’t know how to dress their body because they are unaware that there are four basic body types. If you refer to the picture I posted with this post you will see that the body types are banana, apple, pear, and hourglass. In order to obtain your optimum self esteem and beauty it is imperative that women know what her body shape is. I am most defiantly a pear shape even though I would love to be an hourglass shape though. (aw well…..I love my body for what it is) It’s important to be real with yourself. By the time you get the hang of what looks good on your body you won’t even remember what shape you wanted to be!!! How a woman is shaped determines what she should wear and what looks best on her body. Women who are shaped like a banana generally have an athletic body with toned arms. These women have a rectangular shaped body. Their waist is less than 9 inches smaller than either their hips or bust measurements. These women’s upper body is proportionate to their lower body. They tend to have smaller bust size, not much curve at your waist and usually have great legs. The goal of dressing the banana shape is to use clothing to give your body curves. This can be as simple as wearing a structured jacket with a cinched waist that comes in or around the waist, this often presents a fuller curvier look. Women with a banana shape should wear knee length a-line skirts. If you are banana shaped chose jeans, pants, and skirts that sit below your waist. Look for tops with ruffles, large prints, or detailing. Also wearing a padded bra to add a cup size is an option. It’s also nice to add fun necklaces and scarves to your outfit. Wrap dresses look wonderful on you. Women with banana shapes should not wear tight clothing that will accentuate your lack of curves. Stay away from vertical lines and do not wear high waisted pants or skirts - these do not help create curves. Quite the opposite on banana shaped women. Avoid wearing loose fitting tops and dresses. Remember the goal is to create shapes, not hide them. If you are banana shape try these tips out and you won’t regret it! Stayed tuned for apple, pear, and hourglass shaped bodies. Advice on how to dress for you women are soon to come. But in the meantime be on the lookout for you self inspired beauty.